Five weeks

Well, little girl - you are five weeks old today. You have developed a schedule. You like to wake me up at 5:30 and get me out of bed. Well, that is ok since you don't really cry, you just kindof grunt and make all these moaning noises. Somehow it wakes me up out of a dead sleep and I know you need me. And we have a little bit of time together until your brother wakes up. He has been getting up early too. I think it is because it is summertime and you both know that we don't have much to do around town. It is torture leaving you all in the house all the time, but on the other hand it is just too hot to go out and do anything. But, we will be leaving for Montana on Saturday. I can't wait. Your brother will be very happy to hang out with his cousins and play all day long. It will be interesting to see how it all comes down now that he is older. I just read a beautiful post about how a new Mom was saying how she didn't know if she could love a boy as much as she did the girls. I cried. I mean, literally bawled after reading it. I honestly felt the same way about having a girl. I am so scared to deal with her boyfriends, her period, her body issues, her insecurities - all these things that I have to deal with. It just seems so much easier to be a boy. I mean, I'm not one mind you. But boys - they just don't care about a lot of stuff. There are things that I agonize over that the average boy really doesn't care about. How I look in a shirt, how last year's jeans don't fit, how I hate my boobs. Gah! I just feel bad bringing a girl into the world that has to deal with all this stuff. But, it will be good. I'm keeping an open heart for it. I know she will be confident and self-secure and beautiful and worldly and wonderful.

Three weeks

So, now the weeks just fly by.



When I was pregnant with you, the days seemed to drag on and on.



I feel really bad for a friend who is overdue today. She was due on the 30th and it is already the 8th! They will induce her in two more days if nothing happens. I'm sure she will be induced.



Anyway, things have been going great with you, little smooshie. I've been toying around with nicknames and haven't really come up with anything great yet. Smooshie sounds good, no?
You have been sleeping a lot lately. Like, through the night and through the day. But, there are times when you are awake, which is great, and those times are usually during the day which is even better. You never cry unless we are out and about and I can't reach you in your carseat.



But, we took you and your brother up north to Payson for the 4th of July. It was super fun. I think you had a great time. Your brother and I and your Daddy certainly did!






Here we are in the park. We got there a little after noon and got the most awesomest parking spot and cumped all of our stuff out right in the park and had the greatest view of the fireworks. It was a pretty long day for everyone because we had to drive back home afterward, but it was so worth it. Your Daddy had to get out of town - he was getting a little cranky, so I suggested we head up there.





He liked napping with you in the park too.

And, now you are already three weeks old and counting. It is going by so fast!

We are looking forward to going up to Montana soon to see family. I can't wait to get out of this heat and out of this house!

Two weeks

You are two weeks old today!

You lost your little umbilical cord button two days ago. I saved it for Daddy to see, but it fell out of your carseat when we went out to dinner. Oh well. It was pretty gross anyway.

You have been opening your eyes a lot more lately and are inclined to stay awake for more than five minutes at a time now.

However, you are still a wonderfull sleeper at night and I thank you very much for that.

You are awake right now and want some food though, so I better go get you.

You are here!

And, you are a girl!

7 pounds, 8 ounces
19" long

Healthy and happy!

And, you don't cry at all! You are such a good little girl and I am very proud to be your Mom. Everyone told me that you were going to be a girl, and they were right. I guess I sort of figured it too since you were so different than Brannan's pregnancy. You just hit me with sickness straight off the bat and didn't let up - almost all the way to the end - just spurts here and there, but at the end there were some days of sickness.

Anyway, we should start at the beginning!

You were born on June 16th at 2:25pm.

You were due to be born on the 12th, but went a little later. I asked the OB if you could be induced because you were a couple of days past your due date and she said it would be ok. So, we scheduled you for a Wednesday.

I was really quite nervous, but very excited to see you. I packed my bag the night before and got up really early in the morning, at about 4:15 - took a shower, packed all my last minute items and drove myself (and you) to the hospital. I decided that Daddy should stay at home with Brannan and let him sleep a little while since I was going to get all hooked up and checked and changed in the morning. That wasn't something that your big brother needed to be there for.

Anyway, I got all changed and hooked up to pitocin and started emailing and talking on the computer. It was really just to pass time. And, it did pass some time. Finally, Daddy and your big brother showed up around 9ish - right after I got my blessed epidural. I was starting to feel cramps so I opted for the epidural. It was super easy and didn't hurt nearly as bad as the IV they put into my arm. Then, I couldn't feel my legs and I didn't have to get up to go pee all the time! It was awesome!

So, your brother watched quite a few movies while the minutes ticked by. Your Daddy was working from his computer and I was chit chatting to others on my computer. I got checked periodically and around 2:00 Daddy decided to take your brother out for a little walk.

The nurse decided to come in to check me after you guys left and she said, "Oh, ok, you are at 10cm now." all nonchalantly like that, and I was thinking "WHAT???@!!!??" And right then your Daddy texted me and he said "how are you doing?" and I dropped my phone because I was so nervous as they were putting me up in stirrups and then I managed to bend over and grab my phone and texted him back and said "IT's GO TIME!"

So, he and your brother hussled back into my room, everyone got set up, the doctor was called (she happened to go home for lunch) and we just waited on her. I was up in stirrups for quite some time waiting for her to arrive at the hospital.

Anyway, she finally got there (wearing white capri's nonetheless), got dressed and about 2:20 the nurse said, ok, don't push, just kindof cough and you can probably have this baby, so I rounded my back, gave a little push, and your head literally popped right out. Dr. Hunt was so stunned she had the funniest look on her face and she said "ok, ok, don't push, don't push" and I said "I'm not doint anything at all, I can't help it" because really, I couldn't help it because of the epidural and whatnot. And, then the rest of you popped right out. It was pretty amazing. Then they laid you on my stomach and I had to ask what sex you were because no one said anything, and finally someone lifted your little leg up and told me that you were a girl.

And that was that.

Now you are here and you are a wonderful baby and I can't wait to get to know you even better.

2

Well - two.

Only two days until you are due to arrive. Although, you will probably not arrive on Saturday, as has been predicted.

I don't feel any different - at least today I don't.

We went and saw the doctor on Tuesday, but she said I wasn't "squishy" enough to induce. So, I thought we were going to have you here this weekend, but it seems like you want to spend some more time in there. I was really bummed at first, but then I told myself that you need some more time in there, so I don't mind too much. And, I have been sleeping a little better the past couple of nights, so it hasn't been terribly bad. Oh, and we have been preoccupying ourselves with finding a boat that we can hang out on, so that makes things a lot more fun. And, I have been thinking a lot about vacations, too, so that takes up some time.

It has been so hot here lately that we have been spending a lot of the time in the pool. Your big brother has the cutest tan. He has the whitest little butt and is tan everywhere else. He is also getting really good at swimming. I think in a month or so he will be able to swim all on his own without us having to worry about him so much. I mean, we will still worry, but it won't be so bad. He hasn't put on his life jacket in a week or so, and we just let him swim around and around. He can actually keep his little nose and mouth above the water now (his ears and head are still sunk, but he can do it!). He jumps off of the diving board and the edge of the pool and can swim clear to the other side and grab the edge of the pool and get himself out. He has grown so much.

But, today we are doing a little babysitting and your brother is on movie #2 for the day. During movie #1 he was pretty active, playing with trains and cars, but this movie has him watching pretty intently because he hasn't seen this one for a while, so now he is just standing at the coffee table watching the movie.

Anyway, other than swimming and movies, nothing too exciting is going on here. We have been tooling around town looking at boats and are going to look at another one this afternoon. I really would like to have a boat but am nervous about bringing a newborn out there. I guess we will just have to wait and see.

So, little one, I am still very excited to meet you and hope you come to hang out with us soon!

Love,
Momma

6

Six!?!

Really!?!

Gah! I remember when I was typing 222! It seems like this has taken so long, yet it has been so fast. These last couple of weeks though have been really really long. I am just so anxious to meet this little baby and to find out if it is a boy or if it is a girl. And, I want to make sure the little bean is healthy and happy. I know that this baby will be sleeping good through the night as you already do little one. You sleep when I sleep. There were only a handful of times when you kept me awake at night stretching and swishing around. But, lately, you have been so quiet. I think you have run out of room in there so you have been pretty quiet.

Anyway, I have also been having conflicting feelings about the big boy too. I feel so bad that pretty soon I am going to have to divide my attention between him and you, little bean. I hope that he doesn't get upset with me. But, I think he is still pretty young and should adapt quickly. I just want him to be happy and I love him so much, it is often hard to think that I will have so much love for another child. I hope that it is in me! I know that people say it all the time, that it is a no-brainer, that having another one is easy as pie and you will summon that love out of somewhere. But, where? Oh, I know it will be good and easy, but I am worried.

So, we went to the doctor on Thursday. She checked me and said bluntly, "see you next week." I said, "really?" In a surprised/bummed way.
I said, "but my next appointment isn't until Thursday which will leave me 2 days from 40 weeks."
She said, "ok, then, come in on Tuesday and we will discuss induction."
I was walking on air.
I think that we will have you before next weekend, little one.
And, that brings us back, full circle, to the big boy.
All weekend, I have been thinking that "this is going to be the last whole weekend where it is just the 3 of us. Swimming in the pool together, going places together, putting him down for his nap, having dinner together."
Soon, I'll probably be feeding the baby while Daddy and big boy eat dinner, or some variation of that.

I'm just so scared. But, I guess it is inevitable.

It is going to happen in less than 6 days I think!

I can't wait to meet you little one!

17

Well, little one - you had me scared last night. You had me calling the doctor and going into the hospital!

I started feeling contractions about 2:00 yesterday afternoon. Your Daddy came home and I told him that I was feeling contractions and all he said was "Is that your way of saying you don't want to go camping this weekend?" (insert sarcastic ha ha here).

Not really.

But, I brushed it off as Braxton Hicks contractions and went about doing what I was doing. But, then, around 5:00 I started feeling this horrible lower back pain. I was reading online that if you start to feel these feelings you should contact your doctor. So, I hmmmd and hawed over it but decided to call the doctor. She suggested that I go into the hospital to get checked and have you monitored. So, I did. I packed up my little overnight bag in anticipation of staying and having you at the hospital, but they didn't think I was ready yet and said that I was just experiencing normal aches and pains of pregnancy. Now, don't think that I am a complainer, because I really don't like to complain, but it was really hurting and I really was having serious contractions. I only went to the hospital one other time for pain and that was when I had diverticulitis. I think if I would've waited any longer that time, I would've had a torn intestine and I probably would've had to have had surgery. Luckily, it was caught just in time.

Anyway, back to you!

So, after being checked and monitored, they sent me home and I got home about 10pm to a quiet house. No one stayed up to see if I was ok.

But, I guess at least the porch light was left on for me.

Well, today is a new day and everything seems better. I had lots of crazy dreams about you last night, giving birth to you, having you, but you know what, you never revealed to me if you were a boy or a girl. Isn't that crazy? At least, not that I can remember now.

I still don't know what to do about this upcoming holiday weekend, but hopefully something will come up.