Five weeks

Well, little girl - you are five weeks old today. You have developed a schedule. You like to wake me up at 5:30 and get me out of bed. Well, that is ok since you don't really cry, you just kindof grunt and make all these moaning noises. Somehow it wakes me up out of a dead sleep and I know you need me. And we have a little bit of time together until your brother wakes up. He has been getting up early too. I think it is because it is summertime and you both know that we don't have much to do around town. It is torture leaving you all in the house all the time, but on the other hand it is just too hot to go out and do anything. But, we will be leaving for Montana on Saturday. I can't wait. Your brother will be very happy to hang out with his cousins and play all day long. It will be interesting to see how it all comes down now that he is older. I just read a beautiful post about how a new Mom was saying how she didn't know if she could love a boy as much as she did the girls. I cried. I mean, literally bawled after reading it. I honestly felt the same way about having a girl. I am so scared to deal with her boyfriends, her period, her body issues, her insecurities - all these things that I have to deal with. It just seems so much easier to be a boy. I mean, I'm not one mind you. But boys - they just don't care about a lot of stuff. There are things that I agonize over that the average boy really doesn't care about. How I look in a shirt, how last year's jeans don't fit, how I hate my boobs. Gah! I just feel bad bringing a girl into the world that has to deal with all this stuff. But, it will be good. I'm keeping an open heart for it. I know she will be confident and self-secure and beautiful and worldly and wonderful.