Am I such a shitty friend? What do I do wrong? Is it because I am such a pushover and just want everyone to like me?
Today I went to lunch with a friend. At least someone who I consider a friend. I'm not sure if she considers me a friend anymore. She didn't comment on an important statement - really twice if you think about it.
I said, "You know, I can always use a girlfriend."
She shrugged her shoulders.
I said, "I hope you know that I do love you."
She said, "I know."
Nothing reciporicated. Nothing.
I feel like crap.
What did I do wrong? She says that it is me. She says that I'm always the one that is "pissed" at her. That's not true. I'm just trying too hard. Why do I care about it? Why do I let it put me in a bad mood? I don't want to lose a friend.
Should I write to her? Should I ask her what she meant?
I dunno. All I do know is that the conversation keeps playing over and over in my head and I'm not sure what to do.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Friday, November 27, 2009
Black Friday
Well, it is the day after Thanksgiving.
It was a fairly non-eventful event. We ate a lot and cooked a lot. Went up to Grandma and PapPap's for the feast. My Mom cooked two turkeys. One for us to eat at dinner and the other one for us to take home so we can have leftovers. That is so nice of her. She is always thinking of us. And, she made like a gallon of gravy for Byron! He really likes the gravy.
I am looking forward to breakfast leftovers, that's for sure.
The big boy was really good, he didn't have a nap and he sortof started crashing around 4 or 5 pm so we had to skedaddle out of there about 6. He was really tired.
Well, one holiday down, two more to go...
It was a fairly non-eventful event. We ate a lot and cooked a lot. Went up to Grandma and PapPap's for the feast. My Mom cooked two turkeys. One for us to eat at dinner and the other one for us to take home so we can have leftovers. That is so nice of her. She is always thinking of us. And, she made like a gallon of gravy for Byron! He really likes the gravy.
I am looking forward to breakfast leftovers, that's for sure.
The big boy was really good, he didn't have a nap and he sortof started crashing around 4 or 5 pm so we had to skedaddle out of there about 6. He was really tired.
Well, one holiday down, two more to go...
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Vodka and Cranberry
Ok, I guess minus the vodka, but I can dream, can't I?
Thanksgiving is tomorrow already!?! What the?
It seems like I was just getting fired from my job and sweating over how much longer we had of summer until it got cool. Oh well, at least the nice weather is here and I'm still super happy doing what I am doing, which is being a Mom and a Mom-to-be!
Just hanging around percolating a little one.
And, my 35th birthday is just around the corner. Ick! I try not to think about it. I mean, I still feel like I am 25 years old and doing dumb stuff and not being responsible. Well, I guess the truth is is that now I am responsible and I take my kid to the doctors when he needs to and I take myself to the doctor when I need to and make sure there is milk in the fridge and all that fun day to day stuff.
But, between Thanksgiving and Christmas lies my birthday.
The birthday that will make me officially of "advanced maternal age."
I think about my sister a lot when I hear that phrase. She is 2 years older than me and doesn't have children. She is very very influential in her work field and really high up in her ranks and she is divorced now. I've asked her if she wants to have children and she hasn't ruled it out yet, but she is always so busy with work that she hasn't even had a boyfriend since she got divorced. Well, at least that I know of. Not saying that there is anything wrong with that. It is totally her choice of course. But, I remember before I was pregnant always telling people that I "wasn't ready" to have children or "am still too immature."
Truth is, I think it is better that you still have a little kiddo left in you so you can play with them.
And, another truth, I totally wasn't ready to be pregnant - it just kinda happened. It was a real surprise to us both, but it was the best surprise i've ever had in my life. I can't imagine anything better.
And, today, tomorrow and forever I will be thankful for the beautiful little boy that we created.
Thanksgiving is tomorrow already!?! What the?
It seems like I was just getting fired from my job and sweating over how much longer we had of summer until it got cool. Oh well, at least the nice weather is here and I'm still super happy doing what I am doing, which is being a Mom and a Mom-to-be!
Just hanging around percolating a little one.
And, my 35th birthday is just around the corner. Ick! I try not to think about it. I mean, I still feel like I am 25 years old and doing dumb stuff and not being responsible. Well, I guess the truth is is that now I am responsible and I take my kid to the doctors when he needs to and I take myself to the doctor when I need to and make sure there is milk in the fridge and all that fun day to day stuff.
But, between Thanksgiving and Christmas lies my birthday.
The birthday that will make me officially of "advanced maternal age."
I think about my sister a lot when I hear that phrase. She is 2 years older than me and doesn't have children. She is very very influential in her work field and really high up in her ranks and she is divorced now. I've asked her if she wants to have children and she hasn't ruled it out yet, but she is always so busy with work that she hasn't even had a boyfriend since she got divorced. Well, at least that I know of. Not saying that there is anything wrong with that. It is totally her choice of course. But, I remember before I was pregnant always telling people that I "wasn't ready" to have children or "am still too immature."
Truth is, I think it is better that you still have a little kiddo left in you so you can play with them.
And, another truth, I totally wasn't ready to be pregnant - it just kinda happened. It was a real surprise to us both, but it was the best surprise i've ever had in my life. I can't imagine anything better.
And, today, tomorrow and forever I will be thankful for the beautiful little boy that we created.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Hormones
So, yesterday I was watching tv while the little man napped and a commercial came on, naturally.
It started out all wintery - the snow coming down, the perfect white-clapboard house, the perfect porch and the perfect holiday outdoor decorations, and this super handsome guy (mid 20's) rings the doorbell. A super cute (maybe 17?) girl opens the door. The guy says, "uh, I think I'm at the wrong house?" and she smiles her sugary-sweet smile, points to herself and says "sister!"
He gives her a hug and they both walk into the house. She says "you know, they were waiting up all night for you" and he says "well, it is a long flight from Central America" (or something like that).
Then, you see the coffee brewing and the scent permeates the house. The parents are awakened and they roll out of bed rushing to get on their robes.
The hunk pulls out a present with a red bow on it for his sister and says "I brought something for you from far away." She turns it around and around in her hands, pulls off the red bow and sticks it on his chest.
He says "what are you doing?"
She says "you ARE my present."
Cue the crying.
Damn horomones make me cry watching a Folgers commercial!
It started out all wintery - the snow coming down, the perfect white-clapboard house, the perfect porch and the perfect holiday outdoor decorations, and this super handsome guy (mid 20's) rings the doorbell. A super cute (maybe 17?) girl opens the door. The guy says, "uh, I think I'm at the wrong house?" and she smiles her sugary-sweet smile, points to herself and says "sister!"
He gives her a hug and they both walk into the house. She says "you know, they were waiting up all night for you" and he says "well, it is a long flight from Central America" (or something like that).
Then, you see the coffee brewing and the scent permeates the house. The parents are awakened and they roll out of bed rushing to get on their robes.
The hunk pulls out a present with a red bow on it for his sister and says "I brought something for you from far away." She turns it around and around in her hands, pulls off the red bow and sticks it on his chest.
He says "what are you doing?"
She says "you ARE my present."
Cue the crying.
Damn horomones make me cry watching a Folgers commercial!
Oh boy, I wanna win!
I've been entering tons of contests lately, so, I might as well enter and promote another one!
Friday, November 20, 2009
Yoga positions
I love watching my little boy.
He can execute yoga positions like no one else.
No wonder they call one of the positions "happy baby" - he can do it with ease. He can also do "child's pose" with ease and i've even seen him sleep in child's pose. I also love to see him in the squat pose. He can play with toys for half an hour in a squat pose without his legs falling asleep or getting a tingly feeling.
Kids sure are amazing and bendy!
Yesterday he and his daddy were laying on the floor. Daddy was laying on his side with his head propped up by his arm (hand on head, elbow on floor) and the big boy was trying to emulate him. It was so funny to watch him try to twist his little body all around on the floor trying to get into the same position as his daddy was in.
On another note, I was going through his room the other day and finally got up the gumption to unplug his baby monitor. I guess we don't need it for him anymore. When he is awake I can usually hear him banging on his headboard or else he will cry for one of us. I just can't believe that he is over 2 years old and it is time for me to let go of the baby monitor! And that is why he keeps correcting me and saying "no mama, I'm a BIG BOY!"
Awww, dang!
Slow down big boy! Slow down!
He can execute yoga positions like no one else.
No wonder they call one of the positions "happy baby" - he can do it with ease. He can also do "child's pose" with ease and i've even seen him sleep in child's pose. I also love to see him in the squat pose. He can play with toys for half an hour in a squat pose without his legs falling asleep or getting a tingly feeling.
Kids sure are amazing and bendy!
Yesterday he and his daddy were laying on the floor. Daddy was laying on his side with his head propped up by his arm (hand on head, elbow on floor) and the big boy was trying to emulate him. It was so funny to watch him try to twist his little body all around on the floor trying to get into the same position as his daddy was in.
On another note, I was going through his room the other day and finally got up the gumption to unplug his baby monitor. I guess we don't need it for him anymore. When he is awake I can usually hear him banging on his headboard or else he will cry for one of us. I just can't believe that he is over 2 years old and it is time for me to let go of the baby monitor! And that is why he keeps correcting me and saying "no mama, I'm a BIG BOY!"
Awww, dang!
Slow down big boy! Slow down!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
January
I know, I know - Thanksgiving and Christmas aren't even here yet, but I'm already thinking about January too much.
See, there is a marathon here in town and my husband and sister-in-law are going to be running in this marathon. It all started as sort of a joke, but now it has blown up into this huge thing. Now, friends of the family are going to come into town, my husband's mother is coming all the way from Florida and now we may have more people coming from New Hampshire.
All for this silly little marathon!
Well, and probably for the good weather too since it will be in January and Arizona has the best winter weather.
But, I'm a little stressed out about all the details of this. I'm wondering how I am going to feed all these people, where everyone is going to sleep, how the details are all going to come together, if I'm going to have ANY fun at all being pregnant and not being able to drink any alcohol. Yanno, it is just a big old stresser. Well, I guess maybe I shouldn't be too stressed about it. I am trying to get through the holidays with some fun.
I am expecting 9 people and 2 dogs from out of town.
Not all of them are going to stay at my house of course - geez, there wouldn't be enough room unless we blew up our inflatable bed and put it in the pool. I don't think people would like that very much though in case they rolled off the bed into the pool.
I just wish we had a bigger house.
On that note, the realtor that sold us this house is coming by today to give us a few tips on what we need to do to spruce up the house to sell it. See, since we are going to add another chitlun to the mix, we need a bigger house and more space. I have no idea how we are going to pay for it or if this house will even sell, but we have to try nonetheless.
Now I have to go clean up said house for said realtor.
See, there is a marathon here in town and my husband and sister-in-law are going to be running in this marathon. It all started as sort of a joke, but now it has blown up into this huge thing. Now, friends of the family are going to come into town, my husband's mother is coming all the way from Florida and now we may have more people coming from New Hampshire.
All for this silly little marathon!
Well, and probably for the good weather too since it will be in January and Arizona has the best winter weather.
But, I'm a little stressed out about all the details of this. I'm wondering how I am going to feed all these people, where everyone is going to sleep, how the details are all going to come together, if I'm going to have ANY fun at all being pregnant and not being able to drink any alcohol. Yanno, it is just a big old stresser. Well, I guess maybe I shouldn't be too stressed about it. I am trying to get through the holidays with some fun.
I am expecting 9 people and 2 dogs from out of town.
Not all of them are going to stay at my house of course - geez, there wouldn't be enough room unless we blew up our inflatable bed and put it in the pool. I don't think people would like that very much though in case they rolled off the bed into the pool.
I just wish we had a bigger house.
On that note, the realtor that sold us this house is coming by today to give us a few tips on what we need to do to spruce up the house to sell it. See, since we are going to add another chitlun to the mix, we need a bigger house and more space. I have no idea how we are going to pay for it or if this house will even sell, but we have to try nonetheless.
Now I have to go clean up said house for said realtor.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
222
Only 222 days to go so my little ticker on the side says!!!
Although, I just got some bad news - a friend of a friend who also just got pregnant has miscarried. I feel really bad for her - I guess they have been trying for 2 years now to get pregnant. Although they have an adorable little boy already, it must be tough having to go through something like that. I guess she has to go for a D&C tomorrow. Ugh, I can't even imagine having to go through something like that. I also have (had?) another friend who went through the same thing. She was 16 weeks along and when she went in for her appointment, they couldn't find the heartbeat. Terrible!
Anyway, I'm just clicking along here. 222 days to go. Nice even number. But so BIG! I have an appointment on Monday - just a regular checkup. Should be fun bringing my 2-year old along to that appointment. Oh well. You do what you need to do.
Last night I was watching one of my favorite shows "Intervention" and all of a sudden I hear a terribly cry from an animal outside. It sounded like cats fighting, and I always like to watch a good cat fight, so I went to the screen door to see what was happening, and when the sound came closer, I knew it wasn't a cat, it sounded like one of those little yippy dogs crying. I thought it got caught in a fence or something, and when I went outside, I see a white streak of dog then a brown streak of dog tear past me. Then an older woman is kindof trotting behind them trying to chase them. I only had a t-shirt and panties on, so I really wasn't dressed to help, so I watched them go down the street and the crying stopped. I went back inside and resumed my tv show.
So, fast forward to today - I'm laying down taking a little nap and this skinny little beyotch with gigantic sun glasses comes storming up to my door and says, "I need to talk to you." and I say "uh, excuse me???" And she says "I need to talk to you about your dog." and I say "ok" and she says, "No, I need you to come outside and talk to me about your dog."
Damn!
I was half asleep and this little skinny minnie comes acusing MY dog (yeah, she is bad, but she isn't that bad) of almost killing her little yippy dog! She says "I have a dog at home right now that can't even walk and my Mom, who is on the phone, says it was a brown dog that looks exactly like that one right there (points to Zeffie)."
Uh, yeah, right.
I wish I had my wits about me, but I didn't because I just woke up, but if I did, I TOTALLY would've told her off! I mean, who is she to come and accuse my dog of almost killing her dog?!?
Whatever.
I told her it wasn't my dog, we were all in the house, the baby and my husband were asleep and I was watching my tv show.
She kinda believed me.
I told her I hope she finds the culprit.
Because I totally would've fessed up if it was mine.
If it was a half-dead cat, though, things might've been different.
Although, I just got some bad news - a friend of a friend who also just got pregnant has miscarried. I feel really bad for her - I guess they have been trying for 2 years now to get pregnant. Although they have an adorable little boy already, it must be tough having to go through something like that. I guess she has to go for a D&C tomorrow. Ugh, I can't even imagine having to go through something like that. I also have (had?) another friend who went through the same thing. She was 16 weeks along and when she went in for her appointment, they couldn't find the heartbeat. Terrible!
Anyway, I'm just clicking along here. 222 days to go. Nice even number. But so BIG! I have an appointment on Monday - just a regular checkup. Should be fun bringing my 2-year old along to that appointment. Oh well. You do what you need to do.
Last night I was watching one of my favorite shows "Intervention" and all of a sudden I hear a terribly cry from an animal outside. It sounded like cats fighting, and I always like to watch a good cat fight, so I went to the screen door to see what was happening, and when the sound came closer, I knew it wasn't a cat, it sounded like one of those little yippy dogs crying. I thought it got caught in a fence or something, and when I went outside, I see a white streak of dog then a brown streak of dog tear past me. Then an older woman is kindof trotting behind them trying to chase them. I only had a t-shirt and panties on, so I really wasn't dressed to help, so I watched them go down the street and the crying stopped. I went back inside and resumed my tv show.
So, fast forward to today - I'm laying down taking a little nap and this skinny little beyotch with gigantic sun glasses comes storming up to my door and says, "I need to talk to you." and I say "uh, excuse me???" And she says "I need to talk to you about your dog." and I say "ok" and she says, "No, I need you to come outside and talk to me about your dog."
Damn!
I was half asleep and this little skinny minnie comes acusing MY dog (yeah, she is bad, but she isn't that bad) of almost killing her little yippy dog! She says "I have a dog at home right now that can't even walk and my Mom, who is on the phone, says it was a brown dog that looks exactly like that one right there (points to Zeffie)."
Uh, yeah, right.
I wish I had my wits about me, but I didn't because I just woke up, but if I did, I TOTALLY would've told her off! I mean, who is she to come and accuse my dog of almost killing her dog?!?
Whatever.
I told her it wasn't my dog, we were all in the house, the baby and my husband were asleep and I was watching my tv show.
She kinda believed me.
I told her I hope she finds the culprit.
Because I totally would've fessed up if it was mine.
If it was a half-dead cat, though, things might've been different.
Monday, November 9, 2009
8 Weeks
So, I am officially 8 weeks along now.
I have been sick, sick, sick these past couple of weeks.
It isn't anything really violent, but it is just this constant low-level nausea that makes nothing appetizing. And, that is really off for me because I love food and I think about it all the time! Luckily, though, I have lost 6lbs not being able to eat very much during the day, so that is really nice. Oh, there are some things that I can eat - and that is anything and everything sweet! Oh man, I have a massive sweet tooth right now, it is pretty terrible. During my first pregnancy, I never woke up in the middle of the night and ate anything, it was just really normal. But, this pregancy, I will wake up and just daydream about eating dark chocolate M&M's. So, I have to get up and (pee anyway) and go to the kitchen to get a little handful. I fear that I am going to develop gestational diabetes because of this sweet craving. I sure hope not!
Otherwise, this weekend was nice. Pretty low-key. We rode our bikes around the neighborhood on Saturday morning perusing garage sales. I got some neat-o old Cuisinart slicing and dicing disks. They are cool. They should go with my super old hand-me-down machine, but now I need to find a stem for it. After the garage sales, we went grocery shopping and I cleaned up with the coupons! I love being able to shop with coupons! After all that, we went over to our friends' house for dinner. Brannan got to play with his little buddy and we got to compare the newborn little girls. It was fun and a nice visit.
Yesterday we went over to Grandma and PapPap's house for a visit. I really like to try to get over to their house at least once a week. I didn't get to grow up near any of my relatives - it wasn't that bad not being close to them, really, but since I have the resources available, I think I should really take advantage of those resources, no?
So, we are starting another week, and I'm at 8 weeks - only 32 more to go! Oh geez, it seems like so long! I think right now is the hardest stage or pregnancy because you have to put all these limits on yourself and you can't really "show" that you are pregnant. it gets so much more fun when you have a little baby bump you can flaunt. And, it is so much more fun when you can see the baby on ultrasounds and feel it kicking around. That is the best!
Well, better get the Monday started!
I have been sick, sick, sick these past couple of weeks.
It isn't anything really violent, but it is just this constant low-level nausea that makes nothing appetizing. And, that is really off for me because I love food and I think about it all the time! Luckily, though, I have lost 6lbs not being able to eat very much during the day, so that is really nice. Oh, there are some things that I can eat - and that is anything and everything sweet! Oh man, I have a massive sweet tooth right now, it is pretty terrible. During my first pregnancy, I never woke up in the middle of the night and ate anything, it was just really normal. But, this pregancy, I will wake up and just daydream about eating dark chocolate M&M's. So, I have to get up and (pee anyway) and go to the kitchen to get a little handful. I fear that I am going to develop gestational diabetes because of this sweet craving. I sure hope not!
Otherwise, this weekend was nice. Pretty low-key. We rode our bikes around the neighborhood on Saturday morning perusing garage sales. I got some neat-o old Cuisinart slicing and dicing disks. They are cool. They should go with my super old hand-me-down machine, but now I need to find a stem for it. After the garage sales, we went grocery shopping and I cleaned up with the coupons! I love being able to shop with coupons! After all that, we went over to our friends' house for dinner. Brannan got to play with his little buddy and we got to compare the newborn little girls. It was fun and a nice visit.
Yesterday we went over to Grandma and PapPap's house for a visit. I really like to try to get over to their house at least once a week. I didn't get to grow up near any of my relatives - it wasn't that bad not being close to them, really, but since I have the resources available, I think I should really take advantage of those resources, no?
So, we are starting another week, and I'm at 8 weeks - only 32 more to go! Oh geez, it seems like so long! I think right now is the hardest stage or pregnancy because you have to put all these limits on yourself and you can't really "show" that you are pregnant. it gets so much more fun when you have a little baby bump you can flaunt. And, it is so much more fun when you can see the baby on ultrasounds and feel it kicking around. That is the best!
Well, better get the Monday started!
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Dressing up
I'm not dressing up for anything particularly good.
Just something I have to do.
More later.
Just something I have to do.
More later.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Halloween 2009
It was a mellow Halloween. What with me being pregnant and my husband just getting back from his hunting trip. He was exhausted from driving for 19 hours straight!
But, we still carved a pumpkin and my parents and our friends came over to celebrate. I made some french onion soup, but I was so nauseous I couldn't barely eat anything. This pregnancy has been a little strange at the beginning here. I have been really sick and have had a lot of abdominal pain. It kinda sucks, but it is tolerable.
Anyway, back to Halloween...
So, since we did a lot of Halloween celebrating last week in Disneyland, I didn't dress up (no one did really, but we did dress up the baby.
He was a skeleton!
He only went to a few houses because we have so much candy from our Disneyland trip - we were actually trying to give it all away! Plus, being 2, he really doesn't need that much candy laying around the house (either do I!)
Now, we are back into the swing of things. Going to the gym and going to the park. It is super nice out now so we can go outside and do fun things again.
I am so glad that I am pregnant now - I get to enjoy all the cool weather without being uncomfortable.
It was a fun Halloween, nice to hang out with family and friends. It will be Brannan's last Halloween as the "only child" which I am kindof sad about. He is so smart now and he makes sentences and knows what he wants and what he doesn't want. Even my Mom said she can understand what he says now! Oh, he is growing up so fast! He is such a cutie!
Anyway, we were all in bed by 9:30.
As we went for a bike ride yesterday morning, I saw 3 guys sitting on their front lawn drinking beer at 10 in the morning. And, since Halloween was on a Saturday night, that was a big party night around our neighborhood since we live in a college town. And I remarked to my husband: "Gone are the days when we wake up the next day and start drinking beer to relieve the hangover!"
Ah yes, we have definitely been there...
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