Wednesday, December 30, 2009
I took down the tree and the decorations yesterday. The tree was all dried up anyway - that's no surprise here in Arizona.
We took down the outside Christmas lights like 4 days before actual Christmas because we decided to paint our house then. Hmm, great idea. Although, the house looks really nice and looks like it belongs on the beach somewhere with its peachy hues.
So, I thought yesterday was a good day to take the rest down. Yesterday I had a strong nesting push. I scrubbed one of the bathrooms, picked up dog poop, cleaned up the front yard, did some more painting, unloaded the dishwasher - it was great to get all that stuff done. Painting is hard though with the little dude around. He wants to get up on the ladders too. But, he is too cute because whenever I am up on a ladder he always says "careful mommy!" My heart melts every time he says that!
I have been so out of energy lately, I really just don't want to go to the gym at all. The only reason I really want to go is so that Brannan can play with other kids and kindof get him out of the house. I think we will hit the mall this afternoon so he can play at the indoor play area they have there. He really likes it there, so that should be fun.
Anyway, Christmas was great. My sister was here and she and my parents totally spoiled Brannan. Oh, and his grandma from Florida spoiled him too. She mailed him a lot of presents that we opened at our house on the morning before we went to my parents house. He got so much stuff, but I think my parents are giving him a "last Christmas" before the baby gets here - one all for himself. But, the baby won't really know Christmas anyway for a couple of years. I'm not really sure even Brannan understands Christmas. We aren't religious, so we don't celebrate the birth of that magic dude or the death or whatever Christmas means in religion. We just put up pretty lights and a tree and have presents and a party and a big dinner. That's about it. Oh, and Santa. He will definitely know about Santa next year. He won't know about baby jebus, that's for sure.
But, now it is almost time for the new year. I can't believe it is already here. The time has just flown right by. This next holiday will be the hardest one for me to get through without drinking. It is my most favorite holiday of the year. And, I can't drink!
Ok, maybe one glass of wine?
Maybe my hband will let me open one of our good bottles of wine and I can have a nice glass of the Babcock wine. Yum.
So, tomorrow is New Years Eve. My favorite holiday.
I rememeber, one of my most favorite years, we were in Montana with Lee and Sandi and we did "shots around the world." We watched the countdown on tv, wore silly costumes and did shots every time it turned midnight in other parts of the world. It was such a good time. Then we went walking in the snow after midnight to a party in a basement where I started to lose time and events.
Now we all have kids and responsibilities and have to get up before 9am to tend to those things. We probably won't be staying up until 3 or 4am this year. Maybe next year.
Monday, December 21, 2009
The tires hit the tarmac at Sky Harbor and I cried. I was crying a lot those days because the person who I was most connected to had cheated and lied to me. Then I had to pack up my whole life, make altering decisions and move back home. Well, I didn't "have" to, but I thought it was the wisest decision. Looking back on it, it was the best decision. Since I came back home, I had some of the funnest years of my life, met, dated and married my current husband and had a little boy and have another on the way. But, those dark days in Alaska were hard on me. I had to decide quickly what to do.
After finally deciding to come back home, I had to make all sorts of arrangements. I had to ship my truck home, I had to mail all my important momentos home, I had to sell everything I owned so I could get rid of it (there was NO way I was going to let him keep my couch and my sea kayak and anything else I could think of).
There were a lot of tears. I called my mom practically every day in tears from work. I called her work because she has an 800 number and she is always at her desk. I'm sure my supervisor at work thought I was nuts. I worked in the classified department at the newspaper, so they could click in and listen to my calls at any time. But, when I finally decided to leave, my supervisor was more than supportive of my decision. I can't remember her name to this day, but I remember her being like a mom. It makes me tear up right now thinking about how supportive she was. I wish I knew her so I could send her a thank-you letter. She probably wouldn't remember me, but, hey, it would be nice.
Anyway, one day I was taking classified ads and I got a call in for a house for rent. It was perfect. It was really close to downtown, it had a little yard (for Leia), it had 2 bedrooms, a kitchen, a bathroom, and was just in my budget - I think it was around $500/month. I almost didn't want to publish the ad because I wanted that house. I spoke to the woman placing the ad on the phone and she said I could come and look at it. I went to look at it and thought it was perfect. I really wanted it. I thought I could live in my own house with my dog and work two jobs and be happy. But, I also thought, that if I stayed in that town, I would forever be pursuing something that I couldn't have. I had a REALLY hard time deciding on whether or not to stay or leave.
I had a few friends from work and from college that moved up there. I knew a couple who had a dog that went to college with me. I knew they were living in an apartment and wanted to get out. So, I told them about the best rental place in Anchorage. They were stoked! They took the place sight unseen. They were super nice to me for giving them the lead. They let me stay in their empty apartment the few nights before I left town with my dog and my belongings. They made me dinner one night in their new little home. It was nice. I was glad to have helped. But, then, as I saw them making their lives in the new little home, I was a little jealous and wondered if I had made the right decision. It was too late. I had to go back to Arizona.
The night that I was to fly home, I crammed everything I was going to fly with into a little rental car with a hatchback. It was really hard getting all the luggage and the gigantic dog crate into that little car. Poor little Leia didn't know what she was getting in to. We got to the cargo area where I was supposed to drop off the dog and they asked for her important papers (rabies vaccinations and whatnot). And, I SWEAR, I called the airlines a week before my trip making sure I had all the documents needed to get her on the plane and I did. When I got to the cargo area, they said I didn't. Holy fuck! I was screwed! I was going to miss my flight, I was NOT going to leave my dog in that godforsakenplace either. Luckily, the cargo people were super nice (all this was before 9-11) and they told me of a 24-hour vet where I could get the proper papers.
So, I crammed everything back into my little rental car, SPED on snowy dark roads all around Anchorage, cried at the counter of the 24-hour vet, they expeditied my appointment, I sped back to the airport, and finally got her on the plane. I then had to drop off my rental car, get all my crap to the airport and get on the flight.
It was hard. I was depressed and crying and worried about Leia and drinking while I was trying to get all this done. I don't know why I was drinking, I had so much adrenaline in my system it sort of cancelled it out and just made me have to pee a lot.
Anyway, all was well, I got on the plane, laid-over in Seattle, got back to sunny Arizona in mid-morning and cried when the tires hit the tarmac.
The rest, as they say, is history.
But, I'm going to try to document some of it! ;)
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Oh, and I actually got to go out and get my hair "done" for the party. It was pretty funny because I went to Great Clips. They only charged me $11 for a blow out and a curl up. I really thought it looked nice. So, then I come home and there is an envelope on the table. I asked Byron what it was for and he just shrugged his shoulders. I didn't recognize the return label and wasn't expecting anything, so I opened it and lo and behold - I won the "free haircut for a year" from Great Clips!!! It is a card worth $100! Holy crap! I didn't even remember entering the contest either! But, hey, that is super cool and it will come in handy when I feel like I need a little something special for myself. I was so stoked. That was a great birthday present.
Then, the other present I got from my husband was an hour-long massage. That was on Saturday. I was so looking forward to just laying on my stomach for a whole hour while someone massaged my back. So, the appointment comes, I show up and the therapist asks me what's new. I say, "oh, not much, and I'm not sure my husband told you when he made the appointment, but I'm pregnant." She said "oh dear, I am going to have to adjust the table and pull out the other pillows because now I have to give you a prenatal massage." I said, "no, don't worry, you can just do the normal massage. I am only 14 weeks and I still sleep on my stomach, it is totally fine." And she just said, "no, I would feel better about it, and plus, you ARE pregnant, so I need to do this."
I understood because there is probably some sort of law or something that would prohibit her from giving me a regular massage. I was just a little bummed that I couldn't do the regular thing.
Anyway, I found out my girlfriend in NH is pregnant too. We are due just about the same time. It is really cool because I have been talking to her a lot on email. It is pretty much the only way we communicate. We don't do the phone. I don't know why. I just feel weird on the phone with people. I feel like I run out of things to say. But, when I am writing, I can just spill it all out. And when I am re-reading it in my head, it actually sounds good. But, I feel like we have been a lot closer now that we are sharing this pregnancy bond together. She had a really rough time with her birth last time. I guess she tore a lot and when she was sewn back up, they didn't do a very good job with it. Poor thing. I feel bad for her. But, it has been a few years now and I just keep telling her that this time will be a lot better and hopefully different.
Brannan and I went out to lunch today at Oregano's. It was nice but I realized that I was a little lonely. We were sitting out on the porch area and he was being a really good boy and all, but it was such a gorgeous day out, I really wish I had a good girlfriend or someone else to share it with in addition to my 2-year old. Although he is good at conversation now, he isn't the best, if you know what I mean.
Otherwise, I have another doctor's appointment on Thursday. Not sure what they are going to do to me this time. I have had all the genetic testing done so far. Maybe it will just be a standard check up.
Will keep you posted.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
I never dreamed it would be like this.
The day part was good. Went to yoga, went to the grocery store, went to Target. Then came home, cooked and took a shower. By the time the boy woke up it was already 3!
This evening took a drastic downturn.
I'm frustrated with dealing with a toddler, have a huge backache, have total horomones running through me, am frustrated with husband, have been dreaming about exes, have been wishing I could have a gigantic alcoholic beverage, frustrated again, angry at nothing but toddler things and all-in-all, just a depressive lame-o.
I didn't want my last day of 34 to be like this.
Although I am thankful I am pregnant since I have been wishing for this for quite some time, I am frustrated too. I am tired all the time and hungry and have lost all patience with the increase in tummy. Is that possible?
The dirty chili pot is in the sink and the red water is making a wonderful pattern.
I just want to sleep, uninterrupted, for like 12 hours straight.
It doesn't help that we are dogsitting two neurotic dogs either.
Tomorrow will be better.
35 means changing my attitude.
Wow, that's scary.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
It was pretty cool.
I wish your Daddy was there to see it. Unfortunately he had to work. I think he will come to the next appointment if he can make it.
We are waiting for you, little Butter Bean. I know you are going to be as cute and as smart as your big brother is. I just know it.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Today I went to lunch with a friend. At least someone who I consider a friend. I'm not sure if she considers me a friend anymore. She didn't comment on an important statement - really twice if you think about it.
I said, "You know, I can always use a girlfriend."
She shrugged her shoulders.
I said, "I hope you know that I do love you."
She said, "I know."
Nothing reciporicated. Nothing.
I feel like crap.
What did I do wrong? She says that it is me. She says that I'm always the one that is "pissed" at her. That's not true. I'm just trying too hard. Why do I care about it? Why do I let it put me in a bad mood? I don't want to lose a friend.
Should I write to her? Should I ask her what she meant?
I dunno. All I do know is that the conversation keeps playing over and over in my head and I'm not sure what to do.
Friday, November 27, 2009
It was a fairly non-eventful event. We ate a lot and cooked a lot. Went up to Grandma and PapPap's for the feast. My Mom cooked two turkeys. One for us to eat at dinner and the other one for us to take home so we can have leftovers. That is so nice of her. She is always thinking of us. And, she made like a gallon of gravy for Byron! He really likes the gravy.
I am looking forward to breakfast leftovers, that's for sure.
The big boy was really good, he didn't have a nap and he sortof started crashing around 4 or 5 pm so we had to skedaddle out of there about 6. He was really tired.
Well, one holiday down, two more to go...
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Thanksgiving is tomorrow already!?! What the?
It seems like I was just getting fired from my job and sweating over how much longer we had of summer until it got cool. Oh well, at least the nice weather is here and I'm still super happy doing what I am doing, which is being a Mom and a Mom-to-be!
Just hanging around percolating a little one.
And, my 35th birthday is just around the corner. Ick! I try not to think about it. I mean, I still feel like I am 25 years old and doing dumb stuff and not being responsible. Well, I guess the truth is is that now I am responsible and I take my kid to the doctors when he needs to and I take myself to the doctor when I need to and make sure there is milk in the fridge and all that fun day to day stuff.
But, between Thanksgiving and Christmas lies my birthday.
The birthday that will make me officially of "advanced maternal age."
I think about my sister a lot when I hear that phrase. She is 2 years older than me and doesn't have children. She is very very influential in her work field and really high up in her ranks and she is divorced now. I've asked her if she wants to have children and she hasn't ruled it out yet, but she is always so busy with work that she hasn't even had a boyfriend since she got divorced. Well, at least that I know of. Not saying that there is anything wrong with that. It is totally her choice of course. But, I remember before I was pregnant always telling people that I "wasn't ready" to have children or "am still too immature."
Truth is, I think it is better that you still have a little kiddo left in you so you can play with them.
And, another truth, I totally wasn't ready to be pregnant - it just kinda happened. It was a real surprise to us both, but it was the best surprise i've ever had in my life. I can't imagine anything better.
And, today, tomorrow and forever I will be thankful for the beautiful little boy that we created.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
It started out all wintery - the snow coming down, the perfect white-clapboard house, the perfect porch and the perfect holiday outdoor decorations, and this super handsome guy (mid 20's) rings the doorbell. A super cute (maybe 17?) girl opens the door. The guy says, "uh, I think I'm at the wrong house?" and she smiles her sugary-sweet smile, points to herself and says "sister!"
He gives her a hug and they both walk into the house. She says "you know, they were waiting up all night for you" and he says "well, it is a long flight from Central America" (or something like that).
Then, you see the coffee brewing and the scent permeates the house. The parents are awakened and they roll out of bed rushing to get on their robes.
The hunk pulls out a present with a red bow on it for his sister and says "I brought something for you from far away." She turns it around and around in her hands, pulls off the red bow and sticks it on his chest.
He says "what are you doing?"
She says "you ARE my present."
Cue the crying.
Damn horomones make me cry watching a Folgers commercial!
Friday, November 20, 2009
He can execute yoga positions like no one else.
No wonder they call one of the positions "happy baby" - he can do it with ease. He can also do "child's pose" with ease and i've even seen him sleep in child's pose. I also love to see him in the squat pose. He can play with toys for half an hour in a squat pose without his legs falling asleep or getting a tingly feeling.
Kids sure are amazing and bendy!
Yesterday he and his daddy were laying on the floor. Daddy was laying on his side with his head propped up by his arm (hand on head, elbow on floor) and the big boy was trying to emulate him. It was so funny to watch him try to twist his little body all around on the floor trying to get into the same position as his daddy was in.
On another note, I was going through his room the other day and finally got up the gumption to unplug his baby monitor. I guess we don't need it for him anymore. When he is awake I can usually hear him banging on his headboard or else he will cry for one of us. I just can't believe that he is over 2 years old and it is time for me to let go of the baby monitor! And that is why he keeps correcting me and saying "no mama, I'm a BIG BOY!"
Slow down big boy! Slow down!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
See, there is a marathon here in town and my husband and sister-in-law are going to be running in this marathon. It all started as sort of a joke, but now it has blown up into this huge thing. Now, friends of the family are going to come into town, my husband's mother is coming all the way from Florida and now we may have more people coming from New Hampshire.
All for this silly little marathon!
Well, and probably for the good weather too since it will be in January and Arizona has the best winter weather.
But, I'm a little stressed out about all the details of this. I'm wondering how I am going to feed all these people, where everyone is going to sleep, how the details are all going to come together, if I'm going to have ANY fun at all being pregnant and not being able to drink any alcohol. Yanno, it is just a big old stresser. Well, I guess maybe I shouldn't be too stressed about it. I am trying to get through the holidays with some fun.
I am expecting 9 people and 2 dogs from out of town.
Not all of them are going to stay at my house of course - geez, there wouldn't be enough room unless we blew up our inflatable bed and put it in the pool. I don't think people would like that very much though in case they rolled off the bed into the pool.
I just wish we had a bigger house.
On that note, the realtor that sold us this house is coming by today to give us a few tips on what we need to do to spruce up the house to sell it. See, since we are going to add another chitlun to the mix, we need a bigger house and more space. I have no idea how we are going to pay for it or if this house will even sell, but we have to try nonetheless.
Now I have to go clean up said house for said realtor.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Although, I just got some bad news - a friend of a friend who also just got pregnant has miscarried. I feel really bad for her - I guess they have been trying for 2 years now to get pregnant. Although they have an adorable little boy already, it must be tough having to go through something like that. I guess she has to go for a D&C tomorrow. Ugh, I can't even imagine having to go through something like that. I also have (had?) another friend who went through the same thing. She was 16 weeks along and when she went in for her appointment, they couldn't find the heartbeat. Terrible!
Anyway, I'm just clicking along here. 222 days to go. Nice even number. But so BIG! I have an appointment on Monday - just a regular checkup. Should be fun bringing my 2-year old along to that appointment. Oh well. You do what you need to do.
Last night I was watching one of my favorite shows "Intervention" and all of a sudden I hear a terribly cry from an animal outside. It sounded like cats fighting, and I always like to watch a good cat fight, so I went to the screen door to see what was happening, and when the sound came closer, I knew it wasn't a cat, it sounded like one of those little yippy dogs crying. I thought it got caught in a fence or something, and when I went outside, I see a white streak of dog then a brown streak of dog tear past me. Then an older woman is kindof trotting behind them trying to chase them. I only had a t-shirt and panties on, so I really wasn't dressed to help, so I watched them go down the street and the crying stopped. I went back inside and resumed my tv show.
So, fast forward to today - I'm laying down taking a little nap and this skinny little beyotch with gigantic sun glasses comes storming up to my door and says, "I need to talk to you." and I say "uh, excuse me???" And she says "I need to talk to you about your dog." and I say "ok" and she says, "No, I need you to come outside and talk to me about your dog."
I was half asleep and this little skinny minnie comes acusing MY dog (yeah, she is bad, but she isn't that bad) of almost killing her little yippy dog! She says "I have a dog at home right now that can't even walk and my Mom, who is on the phone, says it was a brown dog that looks exactly like that one right there (points to Zeffie)."
Uh, yeah, right.
I wish I had my wits about me, but I didn't because I just woke up, but if I did, I TOTALLY would've told her off! I mean, who is she to come and accuse my dog of almost killing her dog?!?
I told her it wasn't my dog, we were all in the house, the baby and my husband were asleep and I was watching my tv show.
She kinda believed me.
I told her I hope she finds the culprit.
Because I totally would've fessed up if it was mine.
If it was a half-dead cat, though, things might've been different.
Monday, November 9, 2009
I have been sick, sick, sick these past couple of weeks.
It isn't anything really violent, but it is just this constant low-level nausea that makes nothing appetizing. And, that is really off for me because I love food and I think about it all the time! Luckily, though, I have lost 6lbs not being able to eat very much during the day, so that is really nice. Oh, there are some things that I can eat - and that is anything and everything sweet! Oh man, I have a massive sweet tooth right now, it is pretty terrible. During my first pregnancy, I never woke up in the middle of the night and ate anything, it was just really normal. But, this pregancy, I will wake up and just daydream about eating dark chocolate M&M's. So, I have to get up and (pee anyway) and go to the kitchen to get a little handful. I fear that I am going to develop gestational diabetes because of this sweet craving. I sure hope not!
Otherwise, this weekend was nice. Pretty low-key. We rode our bikes around the neighborhood on Saturday morning perusing garage sales. I got some neat-o old Cuisinart slicing and dicing disks. They are cool. They should go with my super old hand-me-down machine, but now I need to find a stem for it. After the garage sales, we went grocery shopping and I cleaned up with the coupons! I love being able to shop with coupons! After all that, we went over to our friends' house for dinner. Brannan got to play with his little buddy and we got to compare the newborn little girls. It was fun and a nice visit.
Yesterday we went over to Grandma and PapPap's house for a visit. I really like to try to get over to their house at least once a week. I didn't get to grow up near any of my relatives - it wasn't that bad not being close to them, really, but since I have the resources available, I think I should really take advantage of those resources, no?
So, we are starting another week, and I'm at 8 weeks - only 32 more to go! Oh geez, it seems like so long! I think right now is the hardest stage or pregnancy because you have to put all these limits on yourself and you can't really "show" that you are pregnant. it gets so much more fun when you have a little baby bump you can flaunt. And, it is so much more fun when you can see the baby on ultrasounds and feel it kicking around. That is the best!
Well, better get the Monday started!
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Monday, November 2, 2009
But, we still carved a pumpkin and my parents and our friends came over to celebrate. I made some french onion soup, but I was so nauseous I couldn't barely eat anything. This pregnancy has been a little strange at the beginning here. I have been really sick and have had a lot of abdominal pain. It kinda sucks, but it is tolerable.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Really, I don't have anything better to do. The husband is still out of town and it is kindof lonely around here. I don't have any money to spend, so we really can't go shopping or anything. I guess we could carve our pumpkin, but, eh, that doesn't sound like too much fun right now.
I slept terribly last night. I don't know if I am getting a cold or not, but I had heartburn that made me want to throw up and my throat was sore and I couldn't breathe through my nose. It was nasty. So, at midnight, I took a sleep aid and a heartburn aid, and that helped, but I didn't get nearly enough sleep when the baby started to scream "No nap time Mama!" at 6:45 this morning.
On another note - we just got back from Disneyland this week. I went with my SIL and her two kids. It was a fun time, but, unfortunately, I couldn't imbibe in any cocktails. That was a bummer. But, then we went down further south to the San Diego area to visit some of her relatives and her aunt and uncle were extremely nice, but her cousins, oh my gosh, I have NEVER been treated so rudely in my life. I mean, these people only said hi to us briefly and then continued to lay on their couch and watch football for the rest of the morning. Oh, they even decided to make bacon and eggs and toast and eat it all in front of us without offering us a single thing. They sucked. They were just so totally self-absorbed it was insane.
I'm just glad it wasn't my family, although my SIL is totally different and nothing like those people were.
Today is a new day and I am so tired! Can I just do nothing today? I think I need to look for a job, though. That might be something that needs to be done for sure.
Ok, since it is Friday, I'm going to not go to the gym and start all fresh and new on Monday. Yeah, that's it. New on Monday. Good thinking.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
I have told a few people, but not really everyone yet. No one reads this anyway, so I can add my little baby ticker on the side.
I am so excited it is wonderful!
Although, it makes our house seem a lot smaller and we may just have to get a new house soon. And, thinking about that makes me want to clean and get rid of stuff so we don't have to move it all.
Anyway, thank you all for your congratulations! Ha ha, not that anyone is saying anything...
Still, I'm pretty excited!
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
I don't take them alone anymore.
The second I say that I am going to take a shower, a certain little boy says, "no, no, no, ME take a shower!" and then I say, "oh, you want to take a shower?" and he says "OH YEAH!"
It is totally cute and endearing, but sheesh, is nothing sacred anymore? Can I not get a little tiny break in the day?
Sometimes I can sneak off to my bedroom and take a shower when he is watching Sesame Street, but mostly, he is following closely on my heels as I put stuff away around the house and the second I walk into my bathroom, he says, "no, no, no, ME take a shower!"
That little dude is too funny!
Anywho - went out to lunch today with a couple of girlfriends and their baby/neice. It was nice, but I think I ate way too much food. I mean, when you order the Ninja lunch special at this place, I think they are thinking of the Beverly Hills Ninja (ok, ok, if you didn't see the movie, the ninja is played by Chris Farley). Ha ha, I crack myself up, I swear.
Well, I guess I have to crack someone up since no one else is reading this.
Then we went to the post office where it was totally jam packed because of the holiday yesterday and the baby wanted to not move so I had to drag him out by the shoulder.
He is really getting very opinionated these days. It is quite spectacular. I think he is entering his terrible two's. Crap - he JUST TURNED two! I thought this didn't really happen until the last half of the terrible twos!?! Oh well, most of the other time he is a wonderful child. I have been really looking at him in a different light these past few days. These aren't just the last few days that he will be this age, or this tall, or this small - these are the last days that he will be the *only* child. I mean, we still have a long way to go, but soon he will be sharing our love with another in the family. It is scary and exciting all at the same time.
Tomorrow will be a good day.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Well, we had a wonderful, wonderful anniversary! It was full of many, many surprises. One so big I can't even say here.
Otherwise, I got a beautiful boquet of roses and tiger lillies. Then, we were going to go to a movie, but I really didn't want to and then we got to drop the kiddo off at friends' house for a babysitting gig and we went out to the Capital Grille for dinner! Yummy! It was so good I was ready to pop. And, I think my husband almost did. I don't know where he puts all that food, honestly.
It was a lovely, lovely day, and more about that later.
Monday, October 5, 2009
I have this truck/SUV/automobile that has it out for me. I don't know why, but there is one part of this car that hates me. It is the front speaker on the driver's door. It is a good speaker and whatnot - it works just fine, it is just positioned directly where my right knee pivots to get out of the vehicle. So, I'm just getting out of the car, turn off the key, swing my left leg out, then swing my right knee and leg towards the door.
That's when I get it.
That is when my right knee literally grates on the speaker that is on the door.
It is like I'm running a microplane across my kneecap.
And it HURTS! Man alive, does it ever hurt!
Holy crap, so then I'm doing a little dance and saying "owie, owie, OWIE!" and Brannan is saying "sorry, mama" and I say, "it's ok baby, it is mama's fault" and then jump up and down and turn around in circles on my other leg.
My last scab was almost to the point of coming off! And, now, the scab and more skin has been grated into my speaker.
That damn speaker.
And, owie, it still hurts.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
- I love being a mom
- I love to drink icy cold water all the time (unless I'm drinking cocktails)
- Some days I really need some "alone/me" time but I usually don't get too much of it
- When I was a little girl I tripped on a log and gouged a huge hole into my leg. I was too scared to tell anyone that I got hurt so I still have a huge scar
- I wish I could wear nice clothes but my closet doesn't even have them in it
- I hate my figure
- I wish I could get pregnant
- I really like to read cooking magazines
- I love cake frosting - the frosting that you use to make letters and roses - that really chemically frosting, you know, red and blue
- I am a huge fan of Howard Stern but I don't tell a lot of people because they think less of me - he really is a smart man!
- I like to watch cooking shows too
- I abhor roaches and freak out when I see them
- My favorite thing to do is to take a sunset cruise on a boat - little boat, big boat, doesn't matter
- I wish I wasn't such a pushover
- I wish I had the balls to tell some people off
- I like to be organized
- I frequently can't sleep at night no matter how many pills/drinks I have
- I still check on my 2-year old to make sure he is breathing when he is sleeping
- I am really self-conscious
- I wish I lived somewhere else
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
It was nice to get out of the house.
It was nice to visit with friends.
It was nice to hold a little newborn and listen to her coo.
It was nice to drive home with a sleeping 2-year old to then put him in his bed and he is still sleeping! This is one of the first naps he has taken in weeks. Well, I guess because he was up at 6:45 this morning, he is a little tired.
On another note - we are currently knee deep in a tick-infestation.
This is the first time I have ever had to deal with this sort of thing, and it so happens that the dogs caught the ticks from a friends house who was watching the dogs for us weeks ago when we went on our road trip.
She has been super sweet and nice about the whole thing and has even offered to pay for a treatment or two (come to find out that you need to have at least 3 treatments which are NOT cheap) and has even sent over Frontline applications for the dogs. She has been really, really wonderful about it, but it is hard for me to ask her to pay for the treatments. It is just awkward. I mean, it isn't really her fault that my dogs caught the ticks, but then again, I guess she should've told me before we asked them to dogsit that they had a "little" problem.
I dunno what to do. We are vascillating on whether to treat the problem ourselves with a hotel stay and the powder that you put down, or to take her up on treatment. I just feel like crap asking her for money, but its not like we have a ton of money right now to spend on killing ticks They are so creepy though. I hate picking them off the dogs and finding them in the carpet. I actually found on on Brannan's head! Ewwww! But, that was weeks ago.
Although, it would be kinda fun to go stay in a hotel room for a night and use the waterpark! Hmmm, maybe I'll push for that tonight.
Well, guess who just woke up from his nap. Gotta go.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Be still my heart...
Nah, it isn't that bad. You are actually a really good kid. You are easy to steer down the right aisle in the grocery store and you don't play with dirt unless I allow you to. The only thing that is hard for me to control is your terrific love of tormenting our poor dogs. These dogs, they are going to be saints when they go off to doggie heaven. They really do put up with a lot. I try to control it as much as possible, but man, when he gets a running leap at them, it is just kinda hard to control.
Anyway, we had a little birthday party for you yesterday. Your Auntie Chris flew in all the way from Charlotte to be here for you. She is so awesome! She spoils you and loves to play with you even if she has to sit on the cold tile floors to do so. She is really a great Auntie. Also, we had Grandma and Pappy, and a few more friends and their new babies. It was more of a show-off time for the new babies though since they are both only weeks old. That's ok though, it is understandable that you want to show off your little munchkins.
There wasn't any drama - not that there should be at a 2-year-old's birthday party, but yanno. We did set up a playdate for you tomorrow so that will be fun!
Anyway, it was a good day for you. I can only hope that the next 50 birthdays will be as easy-breezy-fun and full of smiles. I hope to be around for all of them little baby - oh I mean "Big Boy!"
(as my heart breaks just a little that you are getting so big!)
Thursday, September 10, 2009
You aren't giving me 3 hours to myself during the day anymore.
Everyone said to enjoy the long nap times while they were still here. I did - believe me I did. I put stuff up on eBay, I worked on his baby book, I cleaned the house, I cleaned my closet, I gathered enough stuff for a garage sale. I did a lot of stuff. I even went swimming by myself and enjoyed the few moments alone.
But now, now they are gone.
You sleep in the car when you are totally exhausted, but then the trip is usually less than 15 minutes. I carry you oh-so-gently into the house, trying not to make a sound, lay you in your cool, dark room, and shut the door without a noise to be heard. But then, not 5 minutes later, I hear you click on your little bee lamp and start rustling around with your books and your toys.
The napping days are over.
And - your SECOND BIRTHDAY is coming up in less than 3 days!
I can't believe that it has already been 2 years since you have been born. It has been a great, fun ride little man. Happy birthday to you! We will be celebrating with family and friends on Sunday. Just something little. Just a little get-together to watch you smash some cake.
I love you!
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
My friends were having a baby. Mom went into labor the night before and I was just waiting for the news.
So, I went out to get the newspaper that morning and the rain bag that was covering the newspaper that morning was PINK!
See, we didn't know the the sex of the baby up until then and I was convinced it was a boy. But, lo and behold, the rain bag just HAD to be telling me something!
I brought in the newspaper, put the rain bag in the little vase where we keep them and waited some more.
Finally, 9:00 came around and I got the call. It was a GIRL! The rain bag was right.
Maybe it is just the little things that we notice that really tell us what is going on in the universe.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Another sign of things that are changing.
My baby boy is getting so big so fast. I want to make time stop right now while he is still taking 2-hour naps and can almost get a full sentence out. I know I can't do that, but I'm trying to savor every moment.
I see that other friends are taking "first day of school" snaps and posting them up on Facebook and it makes my heart ache. I don't know what I am going to do when I have to send him off to his first day of school. I was such a wreck when I had to leave him at his first day of daycare! He was only 6 weeks old. That is the youngest they will take babies at daycares around here. I cried and I cried and the lovely Miss Mary told me it would get better.
It never did.
I know, I know, that was a couple of years ago and he was smaller than a sack of sugar. But now, he is walking and talking and he has feelings and needs. How do you do it all the time? How do you let your little children walk out the door, step on the bus and not worry about them? I guess you always worry - at least that is what my SuperMom says - and I believe her. She was there for me when I was at my lowest when I was in my mid-twenties and called her every day, crying over silly boys.
Anyway, I digress.
I guess I am just going to have to learn to control my worrying. I have to give him roots and wings and at some point, let him spread his wings and fly away - hoping that he will always come back to his Momma for a little snack and a nap in the nest.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
See, I have this TERRIBLE fear of cockroaches. They make me jump on top of furniture and scream like a little girl at the mere sight of them.
I can't kill them for the life of me.
One time, my husband was out of town and I saw one in the bathroom. It literally took me an hour to get the never up to kill the thing, then it took about 10 whacks with my Chaco before the stupid thing even died!
So, imagine my fear when I HEARD one crawling all over my magazines next to my bed this morning. I shot straight out of bed and ran for the garage. See, I knew who it was because I saw him two days earlier in the bathroom. After that sighting, I closed the bathroom door and put a towel along the floor on the outside hoping and praying that he wouldn't find his way out and into my bedroom and onto my bed and crawling all over me in the middle of the night.
Anyway, I am looking around in the garage for something to spray on this creepy crawly ick monster, and it really is a monster, it is literally 4 or 5 inches long, and I spy a can of spray adhesive. I have no idea why it is in the garage, but I figured WD-40 wasn't going to kill the thing, so I might as well try the adhesive.
So, I tiptoe back into my room, see the nasty copper colored creature and give him a quick spray (hoping and praying that he doesn't freak out and suddenly jump on my face), and just like that - he rolls over on to his back, sticks all 6 or 10 or however many legs he has together and just stopped moving! I mean, really, just stopped!
And guess what - I just did it again to a creepy on the tile floor!
It works, it really works!!!!!
The had part though is unsticking the ickmonster from the floor to flush it down the toilet. Yeesh.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Brannan has been having fun lately. A couple of weekends ago we went to our friends house for a BBQ and some visiting. Obviously, it was a hit for them! They are only about 9 months apart in age and Brannan has a lot of fun being around him. I wish I could find more people with children his age to have him hang out with, but it is hard these days as everyone is working. I love what I'm doing though and try to play with him as much as I can.
Otherwise, we are getting ready for another trip to Montana. This time it will be for the middle of July. It is coming up so fast! I need to really get on the ball with this one because we are going to be driving. It will be awesome. I haven't been on a road trip in a super long time. I was just telling my sis-in-law how it has been so long and want to go on a road trip, and all of a sudden, this opportunity comes up. Sweet!
One of my girlfriends from high school went into labor this weekend. I haven't heard from her yet about the outcome, but I found out that she is having a boy. I am so super excited for her. It was hard for them to conceive, so this is extra special. I'm sure she is basking in the joy of a newborn, but I so want to hear how it all went! I wish I wasn't 3000 miles away and could go visit her. I was actually thinking of heading back east to go visit her but luckily I didn't go that weekend because she went into labor! I can't wait to be pregnant again. We're still trying...
Well, I better get on with the morning activities.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
We have been traveling a TON lately!
We went to see Daddy in California twice in the past 2 months, had to go to Pittsburgh, unfortunately for a funeral and now we are going to Montana later this afternoon! This will be a good trip though, good to get out of the heat for a few days. We will be back on Monday, though. I wish we could stay longer, but, when you count it out, it seems like the right amount of time to stay with family before you really start to get on their nerves. The lame thing, though, is that the car rental is costing us more than the stupid airline tickets! Oh well.
In other news, Daddy is finally back from all of his traveling. He was gone for the whole beginning of 2009 with weekends and a coule of weeks home scattered in.
Flying with the baby will be a lot easier today since there will be two of us to wrangle the baby.
Just thought I'd catch up with a little blogging. No news on my end as far as being pregnant. I'm crossing my fingers for this month!
Also, my best friends here in town are going back east for their baby shower and I didn't get invited! My feelings really are hurt. I got a sort of post-invite by mouth only, but that doesn't count. Well, whatever, I guess I can't be involved in everything. It just really hurt my feelings. I did say something in half-passing, but I don't think it really registered. Plus, I added a little humor to it, so that probably didn't help the situation.
Anyway, off to finish packing.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Nothing too exciting is going on except that the little guy is saying so many new words! We are practicing counting and it is really hard for him to say "one", he goes directly on to two when I start counting with him. He has his teens all figured out though, it is cool to listen to. I also taught him how to kiss me on the lips and that is the sweetest, sloppiest thing I have ever experienced, but I love every little kiss he gives me with those little tiny lips! He can also blow kisses and say "night night" to everything and everyone. He even said "night night daddy" through the phone tonight while he was in the bath.
Daddy is still away at his top secret undisclosed location, although we did get to visit him this past weekend. It was great. We went to a few beaches and got totally sand blasted and even drove the car out onto the beach and acquired about a pound of sand for the rental agency to suck out. We went out to dinner a couple of times and hung out in the jacuzzi too. It was a little chilly, but I didn't mind. I wore sandals the whole time, although I can wear sandals in the snow, it doesn't bother me. My feet are like little hot ovens, I can't hardly wear closed toe shoes for the life of me. I guess it is good I live in a hot climate or else I'd be overheating left and right.
I am going to get my hair done tomorrow and boy am I looking forward to it. I don't know why but lately I have really been into getting all the "girly" things done lately. I LOVE pedicures and could go every week if my bank account allowed me, and massages, well, don't get me started. Or facials. I actually fell asleep for a second during the last facial I was getting. It was so utterly relaxing, but then I had a sleep jerk and had to make myself stay awake for the rest of the time.
Daddy doesn't come home until the 10th and after that he will be home for quite some time. I just hope he has a job when he comes back. I am keeping a continuous flow of positive thinking because I just can't imagine them getting rid of such a maniacal trustworthy hard worker. I'm just keeping my fingers crossed.
The baby is in bed and now is my time to go and watch Lost!
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
My sister, your auntie, was here as well, and I feel terrible that we didn't get to spend much time with her. I finally got you in a not-too-crabby mood and we went to visit her, but then I came down with the same illness you had a few days before. Nausea and vomiting don't make for very fun visits.
Speaking of which, that was the first time I've ever seen you throw-up-sick. I felt terrible. We were over at Uncle Sully's house having dinner with everyone and all of a sudden you just threw up all over my feet and my pants and your pants and your shoes. It was kindof gross. It is hard for me to clean up that stuff and no one was coming to my rescue. So, I just had to buck up and do it myself. Everyone I know was probably secrety laughing under their breaths watching me gag at the puddle on the floor. So, anyway, I quickly scooped you up and said we had to go home. We couldn't stay around for any of the easter egg dyeing. Too bad, but you really wouldn't have cared anyway. We came home and I got your "bai" (passifier) and your blankie and we sat on the couch and I held you when you got sick a few more times until everyone came home and I felt it was ok to lay you down in bed. You were sick for most of the night though, you woke up about every half hour throwing up a little here and there, but not too bad. You were fine in the morning.
After all of our relatives left, we had to take Daddy to the airport too. It was a bummer because we couldn't even spend the day with him. We were supposed to, but he got called back to work unexpectedly. That's ok though because we will be going out to see him next week! Yay for another trip! I'm just not looking forward to having to drag your carseat with us on the plane. It should be interesting.
Other than that, you have been quite the little mimicker these days. You are learning at the speed of light and you have new words every day. It is great and awesome to witness. You still love your bedtime stories and are getting quite opinionated. You know what you want and know what you don't want, that is for sure. Yesterday it was ice cream. I made the mistake of giving you a couple of spoonfulls of ice cream mid-afternoon (it was the only thing my stomach could handle) but that was all you wanted for the rest of the day. You probably could've finished the pint if I would've let you! You little monkey!
Tomorrow we should be back into our usual swing of things, gym, then park. I think this is the last time the weather is going to be so gorgeous. It is mid 70-s and windy, perfect! It is supposed to be in the 90's next week. Ugh, I am so not ready for the summer. I say that every year. I just hate the summers here.
Ok, off to clean some more!
Monday, March 2, 2009
I was happy to hear from one of my friends and we have been catching up on our lives, but some things are getting a little too close for comfort. Oh well, I guess we'll just see what happens. I mean, it's not like my home address is out there anywhere.
On another note, we had an awesome weekend! Daddy came home on Friday and Brannan had the best time hanging out with him. He will thankfully be here for most of the month, so that is great. We went to a firefighter's chili cookoff on Saturday. It was nice and we ate way too much chili. Then we went to a little get-together hosted by one of Daddy's coworkers. It was nice. Yesterday we hung out with Grandma and Pappy and then had an early dinner. It is great to be back on a schedule again (an EASY schedule) when Daddy is here. He does all the bed time stuff, and I clean up and get ready for the next day. It is so nice.
We're still working on getting pregnant. I'll let you know how it turns out in a couple of weeks I guess. No news yet.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
I don't know what it was, I was just feeling bummed for some reason. I felt like I was the vehicle that got the baby to his Daddy, not a wife anymore. We did go out to dinner the day before V-Day and we said our respective "Happy V-Day's" to each other (with my prompting) and I gave him a present, and well, that was it. I know, I know, it is a totally contrived holiday and totally dumb, but you know what, he used to always at least get me a card or a bunch of flowers or something small. I don't need jewelry or any fancy underwear (which he has bought in the past), but something - ANYTHING!?!
So, the day after we were walking around a little town doing some touristy-stuff and I couldn't help it, I just started crying like a little baby while we were walking down the street. Just bawling! He kept asking what was wrong, but I couldn't put it into words. I don't know why I was so emotional about it, I mean, we went out to dinner the day before the actual day (I am an ex-waitress so I really don't like going out that day), but for some reason, I just felt like crap.
I finally got the words out in the car later and I got over it and bucked up and pushed everything aside like it didn't hurt me anymore.
And then, as we were leaving for our flight, we gathered up everything out of the car, I positioned everything that I could wheel and carry on the plane, he hands over the baby and sandwiched in between his chest and the baby was a card for me.
I couldn't read it then. I put it in my suitcase for later and we said our goodbyes.
When I read it later, I cried. I felt like a dumbass. But, he made an effort and gave me some words that I needed.
Now, we are back at home and counting down the days until he returns.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Ok, well, it is disguised by having dinner with the other mom and catching up, but really, I'm just in the need of some other adult conversation and someone else to entertain the baby. Especially since that other entertainer will only be a year older than he is. At least they are still toddlers and can throw things and play with things together and understand each other. They can share balls and share sippy cups and share conversation that I know nothing about. Sometimes I have to walk around the whole house with the baby to understand what he wants. He is in the "pointing" stage and can't say what he really wants or needs. It is a fun stage because he is getting so much more independant, but also a little frustrating for the adults in his life.
He's having fun right now standing a book up on its end at the counter here while I type. It won't be long until he gets bored with that though, and I'll have to distract him with something else.
Well, baby, you are going on a play date today, and I'm probably looking forward to it more than you are!
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Just found out another girlfriend is pregnant. She is 8 weeks along. Although very early, she is still "along".
I'm eagerly awaiting stupid-bowl weekend when my hband will be back and we can try to make another baby.
I don't know what has got into me but I am totally baby-crazy right now.
I see pregnant people in lines at the store and immediately try to figure out how far along they are. I see tiny little infants and wonder how old they are and then immediately assess their mommas to see if they lost the baby weight.
What is wrong with me?
Is there something in the water? I guess that is what everyone calls it.
Well, whatever it is, I hope I catch it!
Bring on baby number 2!!!
Monday, January 19, 2009
We went on our nightly walk and I could smell someone bbqing on the way. For some reason it smelled like many times we went camping when we were "younger."
We are still pretty young, in the whole scheme of things, but it just brought me back to some other times. When the drinks flowed way too freely and somehow you ended up in your tent at night with all the covers on.
Now, I have to make sure all the covers are on the baby before I go to bed.
It is a crazy extreme.
But, I love it.
We played at the park and he went down the slide and I watched him run around the pool for about half an hour.
It was a great day.
But, he misses his Daddy.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
I don't know if I've been in a plane crash in my past life or what, but I always have vivid dreams of being in a plane crash. I could be a witness, a passenger or a pilot, I've had them all. They are my worst nightmares. Today another one happened in real life. And this one was way too close to home.
See, my sister is living in NYC and traveling to Charlotte all the time. She could have been on that plane.
Luckily, she wasn't.
But, if she was, she would have been ok, that's for sure.
It is just so scary, living in that eternal fear. You are propelled into the atmosphere in those little metallic tubes and you never know what is going to happen.
She had an aborted landing at Sky Harbor over the Christmas holiday. She has been really lucky.
I am so happy all of those people are all alive and happy. It is truly a miracle.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
It is on his right hand. On the top of his hand. The other side of his palm? I'm not sure what the right word for that part of your hand is.
It is cute. It is just like a little brown smudge. You could almost mistake it for dirt if you weren't looking at it really hard.
He doesn't know it right now, but I notice it all of the time.
It is the one thing that I will always remember of him.
His little brown smudge.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
December was pretty fun. We started the holidays with my sister coming out to visit. It seemed like the week just flew by while she was here. I was determined to have her spend a lot of time with Brannan because she doesn't get to see him very much. I think she had his fill of him! Then, Christmas was here. No one went too crazy on the baby which I was pretty thankful for. We just don't have enough room in our house for toys. I know, it seems crazy, but I don't know how people do it - hide all those toys everywhere. I like to pick things up after a day of play and put everything in its place.
Anyway, after Christmas, we went up to Montana to visit Lee and Sandi. It was great fun. We just ate a lot of good food and did a lot of hanging out. Sandi and I went cross country skiing one day and we went to dinner at some other friends' house. It was nice to see everyone. And, not to mention the 30" of snow! Holy cow! It was awesome! The boys built a huge sledding hill which we had a lot of fun on too.
So, we came home and now here we are, already January 13th! Where does the time go? I can't believe it!
I found out that our best friends are pregnant with their first child and I also found out that a super good friend just had a miscarriage.
I'm not pregnant yet, but I'm crossing my fingers.
I won't see my husband for quite some time, so I guess I'll be without child for a while. He's going to be out of town for work, but maybe I'll plan an "ovulation" trip to see him!
It's funny, I could've swore I was pregnant this week and I took a test. I think the test was too old though because the lines were so faint, but when I looked at them in the light of my bathroom, it looked like a definite plus sign. I brought the test out to the kitchen, though, and showed it to my husband and he said that it wasn't "lit up". But, during those brief minutes while I waited for him to put Brannan to bed, I got really really nervous. Like when I found out I was pregnant with Brannan.
I took another test yesterday though, and it said it was negative.
Well, back to the drawing board!