Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Post V-Day

So, we went out to visit Daddy where he is working last weekend. It involves a plane ride and a 2 hour drive each way. It was ok. The baby did great for the most part and he really loved seeing his Daddy! He was all laughs and smiles and giggles and fun. I, however, wasn't.

I don't know what it was, I was just feeling bummed for some reason. I felt like I was the vehicle that got the baby to his Daddy, not a wife anymore. We did go out to dinner the day before V-Day and we said our respective "Happy V-Day's" to each other (with my prompting) and I gave him a present, and well, that was it. I know, I know, it is a totally contrived holiday and totally dumb, but you know what, he used to always at least get me a card or a bunch of flowers or something small. I don't need jewelry or any fancy underwear (which he has bought in the past), but something - ANYTHING!?!


So, the day after we were walking around a little town doing some touristy-stuff and I couldn't help it, I just started crying like a little baby while we were walking down the street. Just bawling! He kept asking what was wrong, but I couldn't put it into words. I don't know why I was so emotional about it, I mean, we went out to dinner the day before the actual day (I am an ex-waitress so I really don't like going out that day), but for some reason, I just felt like crap.

I finally got the words out in the car later and I got over it and bucked up and pushed everything aside like it didn't hurt me anymore.

And then, as we were leaving for our flight, we gathered up everything out of the car, I positioned everything that I could wheel and carry on the plane, he hands over the baby and sandwiched in between his chest and the baby was a card for me.

I couldn't read it then. I put it in my suitcase for later and we said our goodbyes.

When I read it later, I cried. I felt like a dumbass. But, he made an effort and gave me some words that I needed.

Now, we are back at home and counting down the days until he returns.

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