Monday, December 21, 2009


I remember my plane landing as I moved back home from Alaska.

The tires hit the tarmac at Sky Harbor and I cried. I was crying a lot those days because the person who I was most connected to had cheated and lied to me. Then I had to pack up my whole life, make altering decisions and move back home. Well, I didn't "have" to, but I thought it was the wisest decision. Looking back on it, it was the best decision. Since I came back home, I had some of the funnest years of my life, met, dated and married my current husband and had a little boy and have another on the way. But, those dark days in Alaska were hard on me. I had to decide quickly what to do.

After finally deciding to come back home, I had to make all sorts of arrangements. I had to ship my truck home, I had to mail all my important momentos home, I had to sell everything I owned so I could get rid of it (there was NO way I was going to let him keep my couch and my sea kayak and anything else I could think of).

There were a lot of tears. I called my mom practically every day in tears from work. I called her work because she has an 800 number and she is always at her desk. I'm sure my supervisor at work thought I was nuts. I worked in the classified department at the newspaper, so they could click in and listen to my calls at any time. But, when I finally decided to leave, my supervisor was more than supportive of my decision. I can't remember her name to this day, but I remember her being like a mom. It makes me tear up right now thinking about how supportive she was. I wish I knew her so I could send her a thank-you letter. She probably wouldn't remember me, but, hey, it would be nice.

Anyway, one day I was taking classified ads and I got a call in for a house for rent. It was perfect. It was really close to downtown, it had a little yard (for Leia), it had 2 bedrooms, a kitchen, a bathroom, and was just in my budget - I think it was around $500/month. I almost didn't want to publish the ad because I wanted that house. I spoke to the woman placing the ad on the phone and she said I could come and look at it. I went to look at it and thought it was perfect. I really wanted it. I thought I could live in my own house with my dog and work two jobs and be happy. But, I also thought, that if I stayed in that town, I would forever be pursuing something that I couldn't have. I had a REALLY hard time deciding on whether or not to stay or leave.

I had a few friends from work and from college that moved up there. I knew a couple who had a dog that went to college with me. I knew they were living in an apartment and wanted to get out. So, I told them about the best rental place in Anchorage. They were stoked! They took the place sight unseen. They were super nice to me for giving them the lead. They let me stay in their empty apartment the few nights before I left town with my dog and my belongings. They made me dinner one night in their new little home. It was nice. I was glad to have helped. But, then, as I saw them making their lives in the new little home, I was a little jealous and wondered if I had made the right decision. It was too late. I had to go back to Arizona.

The night that I was to fly home, I crammed everything I was going to fly with into a little rental car with a hatchback. It was really hard getting all the luggage and the gigantic dog crate into that little car. Poor little Leia didn't know what she was getting in to. We got to the cargo area where I was supposed to drop off the dog and they asked for her important papers (rabies vaccinations and whatnot). And, I SWEAR, I called the airlines a week before my trip making sure I had all the documents needed to get her on the plane and I did. When I got to the cargo area, they said I didn't. Holy fuck! I was screwed! I was going to miss my flight, I was NOT going to leave my dog in that godforsakenplace either. Luckily, the cargo people were super nice (all this was before 9-11) and they told me of a 24-hour vet where I could get the proper papers.

So, I crammed everything back into my little rental car, SPED on snowy dark roads all around Anchorage, cried at the counter of the 24-hour vet, they expeditied my appointment, I sped back to the airport, and finally got her on the plane. I then had to drop off my rental car, get all my crap to the airport and get on the flight.

It was hard. I was depressed and crying and worried about Leia and drinking while I was trying to get all this done. I don't know why I was drinking, I had so much adrenaline in my system it sort of cancelled it out and just made me have to pee a lot.

Anyway, all was well, I got on the plane, laid-over in Seattle, got back to sunny Arizona in mid-morning and cried when the tires hit the tarmac.

The rest, as they say, is history.

But, I'm going to try to document some of it! ;)

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