Sunday, June 6, 2010




Gah! I remember when I was typing 222! It seems like this has taken so long, yet it has been so fast. These last couple of weeks though have been really really long. I am just so anxious to meet this little baby and to find out if it is a boy or if it is a girl. And, I want to make sure the little bean is healthy and happy. I know that this baby will be sleeping good through the night as you already do little one. You sleep when I sleep. There were only a handful of times when you kept me awake at night stretching and swishing around. But, lately, you have been so quiet. I think you have run out of room in there so you have been pretty quiet.

Anyway, I have also been having conflicting feelings about the big boy too. I feel so bad that pretty soon I am going to have to divide my attention between him and you, little bean. I hope that he doesn't get upset with me. But, I think he is still pretty young and should adapt quickly. I just want him to be happy and I love him so much, it is often hard to think that I will have so much love for another child. I hope that it is in me! I know that people say it all the time, that it is a no-brainer, that having another one is easy as pie and you will summon that love out of somewhere. But, where? Oh, I know it will be good and easy, but I am worried.

So, we went to the doctor on Thursday. She checked me and said bluntly, "see you next week." I said, "really?" In a surprised/bummed way.
I said, "but my next appointment isn't until Thursday which will leave me 2 days from 40 weeks."
She said, "ok, then, come in on Tuesday and we will discuss induction."
I was walking on air.
I think that we will have you before next weekend, little one.
And, that brings us back, full circle, to the big boy.
All weekend, I have been thinking that "this is going to be the last whole weekend where it is just the 3 of us. Swimming in the pool together, going places together, putting him down for his nap, having dinner together."
Soon, I'll probably be feeding the baby while Daddy and big boy eat dinner, or some variation of that.

I'm just so scared. But, I guess it is inevitable.

It is going to happen in less than 6 days I think!

I can't wait to meet you little one!

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