Monday, November 30, 2009

A friend

Am I such a shitty friend? What do I do wrong? Is it because I am such a pushover and just want everyone to like me?

Today I went to lunch with a friend. At least someone who I consider a friend. I'm not sure if she considers me a friend anymore. She didn't comment on an important statement - really twice if you think about it.

I said, "You know, I can always use a girlfriend."

She shrugged her shoulders.

I said, "I hope you know that I do love you."

She said, "I know."

Nothing reciporicated. Nothing.

I feel like crap.

What did I do wrong? She says that it is me. She says that I'm always the one that is "pissed" at her. That's not true. I'm just trying too hard. Why do I care about it? Why do I let it put me in a bad mood? I don't want to lose a friend.

Should I write to her? Should I ask her what she meant?

I dunno. All I do know is that the conversation keeps playing over and over in my head and I'm not sure what to do.

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